9. UNIQUE: WRITE: Why Does This Model Answer Score Well? LANGP2

In this passage from "Beyond the Sky and Earth: A Journey into Bhutan", Jamie Zeppa presents an asyndetic list that includes five items describing the actions of an imagined "giant child" shaping the Bhutanese landscape. Because the list is structured without conjunctions, it creates a sense of rapidity and momentum, with each item being a verb phrase describing a specific action, such as ‘piling… pinching… knuckling’. The asyndetic list also helps express the extent and variety of land features, such as peaks, valleys, and gorges, as well as the variety of processes from which they were constructed. However, the effect of the asyndetic list is compounded by combining it with the analogy of a giant child actively and energetically shaping the landscape, representing a force of creation in the natural world. Consequently, the combination of metaphor and an asyndetic list describing the child gathering earth in great armfuls and piling up rock encourages the reader to picture the landscape being formed through a process of accumulation and construction; however, Zeppa also employs alliteration such as in ‘piling… pinching… peaks… poking’ to draw the reader’s attention to the meanings of the specific verbs; for example, the use of the verb "pinching" portrays the creative process of the ‘ridges… and… peaks’ as being precise and controlled, suggesting the child is actively shaping the landscape in a deliberate manner. However, the use of the verb ‘knuckling’ to describe the creation of valleys and gorges suggests a more physical, hands-on approach to shaping the landscape, perhaps involving the use of force or pressure. Consequently, it appears as though Zeppa is trying to paint a picture for the reader about the formation of the Bhutanese mountains, almost as though they appear to have been formed through a unique process that includes both creativity and playfulness but also precision and deliberateness. Such a description ultimately conveys to the reader that the Bhutanese mountains are completely one-of-a-kind and a wonder of the creative power of nature.